How to handle Valentine’s Day without a boyfriend

I dragged myself out of bed to do some much needed grocery shopping this morning. It was like any other day. I made myself look decent, jumped into my car for the 200 metre drive into the little mall down my road, parked and headed towards my usual grocery store. I walked into the store and amidst the business of Saturday shoppers, I stared straight ahead – my heart beating faster, palms becoming sweaty and panic settling in.

Before me stood a massive array of cards, roses and other little gifts in every shade of pink and red imaginable. Right there...in a GROCERY store...was a gigantic reminder, weeks in advance, of the day single women pray will never come around.

Saint Valentine’s Day – a day of love. The day that men are obligated to spoil their women to show their love and appreciation.  It’s all very romantic and no matter what girls have to say about the day, they’re genetically programmed to want to be treated like the princess they always dreamed of being.

My colleague seems to have the best husband in the world. Last year, every day of the week of Valentine’s Day, he sent her flowers, chocolates and a teddy bear to the office. She was the envy of the department as every girl wanted to be her.

As utterly romantic as it is to be the lucky recipient of showers of Valentine’s Day affection, the day becomes rather sad for single girls. The weeks before V-day, the store advertising, radio and TV commercials, funny emails, water cooler conversation and catching up with friends are all constant reminders of being single. And it’s not just about a single status, there’s a reflection of past Valentine’s Days being spent alone, currently not having someone special to spend the ‘love’ season with and the seemingly bleak future of felines for future V-day companionship.

I am not spending V-day wishing 21 December 2012 will come early so I’ve decided to put together a list of things that I think could keep the unloved feelings at bay whilst having the same amount of fun that I would have on any other day.

A singles evening

I tried to organise this last year. I asked a couple of single friends to get all dressed up and we can have dinner somewhere despite the fully booked restaurants with ridiculously priced menu offerings. Maybe this year, I’ll round up all the singletons I can find so there’ll be less of a chance that everyone will bail. *side eyes my friends that ditched me last year* And the singles event doesn’t have to be a stuffy fancy dinner, maybe an informal game of pool for everyone to socialise, have a chance to play and most importantly, to have fun!

Pamper yourself

Being by myself just makes me lonely and depressed but if you prefer alone time then this is the best time to treat yourself to a relaxing day at the spa. You’ll come out feeling like a Goddess which will lift up your spirits. There’s also nothing that retail therapy can’t fix – buy yourself that expensive gift you’ve been eyeing. You deserve to spoil yourself.

Girl’s night out

If you’re fortunate enough to have enough single girl friends that are keen to paint the town red, put on that sexy red dress and don your favourite pair of stilettos and head to the cocktail lounge of your choice. There’s still single guys out there and maybe being dressed to the nine’s might score you an unexpected free drink from another patron of the establishment. If all else fails, you would have had a fun night catching up with your girls.

Make someone else feel special

A friend in college once bought little ornament type gifts for all the single girls he knew. Yes it might still remind you that you don’t want to be single but it feels amazing to be handed a thoughtful unexpected gift. Maybe do the same for your single friends. Giving will make you feel good and receiving will make them feel great. Who said we can’t engineer Valentine’s Day to also be about appreciating our platonic friends?

A night in

Thankfully Valentine’s Day falls on a weekday this year so if you’re really busy at work, it’s only the evening that you need to plan for. Forget your usual evening responsibilities. Instead, pick up a movie on your way home, cook your favourite dish, have a long relaxing bubble bath with a glass of wine and watch your movie while eating your supper. End the evening off with a book in bed. You’ve just spent a commercialised day in, away from all the frenzy, making you your number one priority. Before you know it, your alarm clock will signal that it’s back to work and the end of V-day.

If you anticipate the dreaded feeling of misery on Valentine’s Day, there’s many ways to appreciate yourself, ignore the festivities or join in with some friends. What will you be up to on 14 February?

The dos and don’ts of last minute shopping

It wasn’t the best idea but I had to do some grocery shopping on Christmas Eve. Whilst I was there, I mentally put together this list of dos and don’ts to help you when shopping on one of the busiest days of the year.

Don’t do it: If it is at all possible, please avoid the Christmas rush by shopping way before festive season. Stay at home and spend time with your family. It is also a lot less stressful to shop in the New Year.

Do take a trolley from the parking lot: A rookie mistake that I made. Once you realise that there are no trolleys inside the store, you have to wait for trolleys to come through and there’s people of all sorts pushing through trying to grab a trolley as if it is rations of food being handed out during times of war.

Once you’ve gotten your trolley, everyone’s eager to squeeze through the generally tiny entrance of the grocery store. This is not Zimbabwe. The groceries are not going to run out. So don’t push your trolley into other people like you’re playing bumper cars or go-carting. I had the unfortunate incident of a woman pushing the trolley hard into me. I turned around and shot a look at the unapologetic woman. She did it again and once again I stopped to turn around. It’s not like you don’t know that you just bumped your trolley into someone’s ass...hard! I stopped and let her through and then as I was walking behind her, I gave her a taste of her own medicine. Harsh, I know, but how else will people know that it hurts and they shouldn’t do it to other people? She turned around and I gushed a seemingly sincere apology.

Do take someone with you when shopping. Not only will it help to keep you sane trying to manoeuvre through half of Durban packed into one store, it also helps with shopping strategies. I decided to let my mum do the shopping while I pushed the trolley behind her – often stopping in some quiet corner while she brought various items to me.

Please understand your, um, body size in comparison to others. With 68% of South Africans considered overweight, I don’t care whether it’s your ass, tummy or boobs that’s large, don’t push people out of the way with your weight!

Do try to be considerate of others when weaving through the un-orderly shopping nightmare. Pushing a trolley is pretty much like driving a car, at certain intersections, some motorists have right of way. If there’s a car in front of you, you wait for them to go through busy traffic because squeezing on the side of them while only do you car damage when you’re brushing the side of your against theirs. If you can’t fit through a gap, don’t do it. In fact, if you haven’t passed your driver’s licence test, perhaps you shouldn’t use a trolley when shopping. Hand baskets were meant for you.

The store is not filled with shoppers alone. Merchandisers work while the store is open, packing and neatening up the shelves so you can find what you need when you need it. That being said, when merchandisers are pushing through those bulk trolleys filled high with many heavy products, do let them through. It’s dangerous to be running around in front of them and also says that you’re a selfish person who thinks that the store is open solely for your shopping pleasure.

Do smile at others especially when saying “excuse me” or “sorry” or well just generally smiling. Frowns do not a Christmas spirit make.

When I finally got to the queue for the till, the queue was blocking the pathway of people needing to walk past. Do be courteous. I kept pushing my trolley out of the way for people to walk through and pushed it back in the queue once I could. Unlike the woman behind me, when I had progressed closer to the till, who just decided that she was in a queue and that was that. That then meant, nice old me had to move out of the way so that people to squeeze through to the other side.

Then there’s the dreaded encounter with the face of Checkers - the cashier. Customer service is clearly not taught at Checkers or if they did the cashier would smile, be friendly and maybe not stand with a bored expression on her face whilst not telling me why she’s just standing there waiting. Do complain about customer service. Perhaps the training manager, Jayindree Reddy, was not the best person to complain to (read: incompetent) and she didn’t do much when she came to the till to assist. It is because we have the culture of accepting bad service that it still goes on. There are a lot of unemployed South Africans who need a job and will be willing to take on the duties involved in a customer facing job for the salary on offer.

That, ladies and gentlemen, wraps up my experience. Hopefully this will help you when you find yourself needing to do some last minute shopping over really busy periods.