Money doesn’t buy you happiness – my counter-argument

I’ve had countless discussions with people with money and they always say “money doesn’t buy happiness”. It’s something I’ve heard all my life and it’s definitely not a revelation. Of course money doesn’t buy you happiness! But the rich bemoan as if it’s the one thing that they can that they can complain about; that their lives aren’t filled with happiness because of money.

Basically, the argument is that even though the rich grew up with money, it doesn’t mean they had a happy childhood. And they’ve seen that poor people are much richer in terms of the friends and family that they have. This opinion piece is why I think their argument is flawed.

We all have our problems and while money does not solve all of them, it does make things easier. Here’s an example. Person A professes to have daddy issues because daddy was never around because he was too busy making more money. Person B also has daddy issues because daddy was never around because he was too busy working a menial job in order to put food on the table.

In both cases, they weren’t happy. But Person A got to be more technologically advanced, got a better education and got the advantage of a head start in life because of money. Person B followed in his parents’ paths in life and struggled to make ends meet. Yes, in both cases the individuals weren’t happy but didn’t money in this example make life just a little bit easier.

There are a lot of reasons for unhappiness: poor health, the inability to make ends meet, suffering of loved ones – these are things that afflict both the rich and the poor. Money solves these problems or makes them a little easier.

And granted there are sources of unhappiness that can’t be solved with money like the search for a soul mate or being in a job you hate. Again these things affect both the rich and the poor and money will probably be of little help here.

Then there’s the theory that poor people are rich in family who love each other. What bullshit! Not having money is extremely stressful. It’s the source of many fights between couples. When you need to make sure that the basics like food, healthcare and school fees are covered when you’re in a minimum wage job; it’s certainly not a happy place to be in. And even if you’re lucky enough to be surrounded by love and family, it still doesn’t mean you’re happy.

So to the rich people out there, the poor don’t have the upper hand at happiness. Let’s level the monetary playing field first and then we can all bemoan about how our money doesn’t make us happy. Don’t believe me? Get rid of all your money and prove me wrong. Go be happy.

Sunday meal inspiration: comforting dholl

Dhall, as it’s more commonly known across the globe, can be likened to a lightly spiced lentil soup. In Durban, we pronounce it dholl and it’s pretty much a staple in every Indian home.  It can be used as gravy for a dry meal like rice and roast chicken. It can be used for some additional flavour in breyanis. It can be eaten alone with rice or bread. I like to use it in meals where I have tomato chutney where I need to cut the richness of the chutney. Or you can even drink it plain. Here’s how I make it at home.

You will need these ingredients:

1 cup of yellow split pea lentils

1 teaspoon of hurdee or turmeric powder

2 tablespoons of salt

1 tablespoon of oil

1 tablespoon of jeera or cumin

1 sprig of dried curry leaves

Half an onion sliced

3 cloves of garlic finely sliced

3 green chillies with a slit cut down the middle

This is how you make it:

Rinse the lentils in water until the water runs clear and leave it to soak in water overnight. Boil the lentils for an hour with salt and turmeric powder. If you live in Joburg where cooking takes so much longer, I recommend blending the lentils after you boil it. Then put it back on to boil with about three cups of water. Allow about a cup of the water to boil off so that the consistency is still runny. It must not be as thick as a cream-based soup.

When you’ve achieved the correct consistency, temper the rest of the ingredients in some oil in another frying pan. Add the fried spices to the dhall. Have a quick stir and a taste test for flavour and there you have it: comforting dholl. 

Sunday meal inspiration: breakfast wrap recipe

I don’t particularly like the bacon-and-eggs type breakfasts. I don’t usually have them by choice and I always find a way to find something different for breakfast. One morning I fumbled around in the fridge and came up with this awesome alternative: a breakfast wrap that doesn’t taste too eggy or bacony…or toasty.

Here’s what I grabbed from the fridge

2 wraps

2 eggs

1 cooked chicken breast, shredded

¼ sweetcorn removed from the cob

1 tablespoon of mayonnaise

1 tablespoon of Nando’s hot peri peri sauce

Here’s how to create this awesome breakfast

1. Heat up some oil in a pan and warm up the chicken and sweetcorn bits. Add in 2 whisked eggs and cook until the scrambled eggs are still soft. Overcooking scrambled eggs makes it quite dry.

2. Heat up the wraps in a dry frying pan and then butter it with the mayonnaise and peri peri sauce. Just a little goes a long way. The mayonnaise keeps the wrap feeling light and moist and the little bit of peri peri sauce adds some flavour without the heat.

3. Divide the scrambled egg mix between the two wraps and roll tightly. Cut in half and serve.

There you have it! The wrap gives it a nice light fresh taste unlike the usual toast. One egg is enough for one wrap as it doesn’t taste too eggy but if you prefer it that way, go ahead and load it up. 

Win double tickets to the wedding expo

I’m getting married in less than 7 months and I’ve pretty much only got the honeymoon sorted out. I figured where better to learn about what else I need for the wedding than a wedding expo.

I’ve wanted to go to these wedding expos for a while now but I’ve just never been in town at the time when the expos have been on. I’m still bitter about missing my chance at winning the million rand wedding at The Maslow.

I’m lucky enough to be in Joburg for the weekend of 5 – 6 April where I’ll be spending my time at the Coca-Cola Dome. I had a browse through The Wedding Expo’s website with its list of exhibitors and I am quite excited to see what’s out there in terms of décor, invitations and jewellers. Somehow I’m still excited about the travel exhibitors too. Just because I booked my honeymoon already, doesn’t mean I can’t start planning the next holiday ;-).

If you’re getting married soon (or hoping to get married soon), check out the wedding expo’s website to see what’s on offer. The expo will be held at the Coca Cola Dome during 5 – 6 April. Tickets are R100 and available through Web Tickets.

The organisers have kindly offered to give me a double ticket to give away on my blog. To enter, leave a comment on this post telling me what you’re looking forward to at the expo. Enter through the Rafflecopter widget below.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

In-city weekend getaway: St Andrews

St Andrews is a 5 star boutique hotel situated in Bedfordview. I didn’t really know it existed until my fiancé booked us in for a weekend to hear me say “Yes”.

St Andrews over looks Gillooly’s Farm and that’s the first thing I noticed as we walked from the parking to reception: a full view of the little lake and the lush green trees and grass at Gillooly’s Farm. The hotel actually borders the Gillooly’s Farm but it’s fenced so you can’t quite get access through there; although, that area is a pretty good spot to sit on the grass and take in the picturesque scene.

This was my first time staying at a 5 star hotel in South Africa and when I heard about the price for a night, I was really shocked that my fiancé would spend that much! But after that weekend, I realised it was totally worth the price.

The rooms are super spacious; it doesn’t just feel like a bedroom. There were the usually 5 star amenities in the room but I really loved the open plan bathroom. I love big showers and this one was a shower for 2 to match the his and her basins. There were two shower heads and each had its own taps to control the water temperature and pressure. I decided there and then that if I ever get to design my own bathroom, that’s exactly what I would like my shower to look like. I also love that there’s a strong wifi signal in the room.

 

The luxurious feel of the hotel feeds through from reception right through to the rooms and other areas like the spa. I generally feel that massages are a waste of time. There’s my brain going into overdrive and I’m supposed to just chill there and be pampered when I feel I need to be productive. Afterwards I felt completely relaxed despite my racing thoughts. All I wanted to do was take a nap next to the pool.

The hotel restaurant is Trents at St Andrews and I was totally blown away by both the service and food. The staff was really friendly – chatty, offering to take our photos and constantly topping up our glasses. We had a springbok carpachio starter served in a balsamic reduction. My fiancé always chooses better mains than I do; it was a pepper beef fillet served with potatoes and artichokes. The food was delicious – definitely one of the better restaurants I’ve been too. I definitely recommended you try this restaurant if you’re celebrating a romantic special occasion.

In no time, my surprise weekend getaway had come to a close. We had breakfast at the restaurant and I was still wishing I could have spent a longer time there. I kept forgetting that I was still in Joburg the entire time I was there. If you’re looking for a weekend getaway in the city, then you should definitely consider this.

Sunday meal inspiration: easy dhall ghos recipe

I usually prefer my Sundays to be quiet relaxing days indoors so when I don’t have any plans, I love cooking something that would generally take a long time to prepare – time that I don’t have on the weekdays. Dhall ghos is a classic example of something that needs a lot of time to prepare but is absolutely worth it. It’s an Indian dish made with soft melt-in-your-mouth pieces of meat in a spiced lentil sauce. It’s perfect for cold winter weather as the spices are warming and it has a soup like texture. 

You will need the following ingredients at minimum

1 tablespoon of oil

1 onion finely sliced

1 teaspoon of crushed ginger and garlic

1 tablespoon of turmeric powder

1 tablespoon of garam masala

1.5 tablespoons of chilli powder

3 tablespoons of salt

500 grams of lamb chopped into small pieces

Water as needed

1 cup of yellow split pea lentils

This is how to make it

1. Lentils require a lot of work. You need to first sift through it to make sure there aren’t any stones hiding in there and then you need to rinse it with water several times until the water runs clear. You should soak the lentils overnight so that it softens and speeds up the cooking process. Then you need to boil it for at least an hour until the lentils are soft enough to smash between your fingers.

If you have a pressure cooker, the cooking time is reduced to about 15 minutes. I don’t have a pressure cooker so I found another way to speed this process up. If the lentils still aren’t soft, you can drain out the water and blitz it with a hand-held blender.

2. Heat the oil in a separate pot. You should have enough oil to comfortably coat the bottom of the pot. Fry the onions until soft and add the ginger and garlic. At this stage, you can add other spices like bay leaves, cinnamon, etc. but if you don’t have them, the turmeric, garam masala and chilli powder will be enough. Let the spices fry for a few seconds and add in the meat. Allow it to brown on all sides for a few minutes. Add the salt and enough water to cover the meat.

3. If the lentils are ready, you can add it to the pot with the meat and let it cook for about an hour and a half until the meat is tender. Keep adding water if the curry becomes too thick and you can also add more spices or salt to taste.

It is best served with fresh white bread to soak up that gravy but I’m not a fan of bread so I generally like it with rice. Or you can have it the way my fiancé likes it –the first serving with a roll and the second serving with rice.

I’m thinking of making this a regular series so if you have any meal ideas to share or any suggestions on something you’d like me to try, please comment and share it with me. 

Win! With Jadedfairy-Events

I am so excited to tell you about this new service that I discovered by Jadedfairy-Events. They provide a ton of events management services but the one I’m particularly excited about is where they prepare a three course meal to your specifications and deliver it right to your door. Now how’s that for a dinner party! And the best part is that Jadedfairy-Events is offering an amazing prize to one of my readers: an Indian dinner party for 5!

I love the concept. Everyone likes entertaining but very few actually enjoy being away from their guests slaving away in the kitchen. Jadedfairy-Events sits down with you to discuss what type of catering you want, your culinary likes and dislikes and what your budget is. They will design the menu and once you ok it, they will bring out the food to your door when you want it! All you need is to keep the food warm and pretend like you slaved away for hours when your guests arrive ;-). Actually, I’m thinking of what an awesome idea that would be to surprise my fiancé with a romantic dinner – hassle free.

I’m no stranger to Jadedfairy-Events as I’ve attended many events that they’ve organised and catered for like baby showers, dinner parties, house warming parties and birthday parties. The owner is also super helpful. I keep bugging her with recipe and entertaining ideas and she always obliges for free. I love that kind of service. The food is always amazing and varies in cuisine and meal types like sit down, finger food and buffet. And the one thing they deliver on amazingly well – the taste! 

Here are some pics of the deliciousness at a recent baby shower:

Here are some pics of delicious meals they served:

So the prize on offer for a lucky reader is a three course Indian meal for you and 4 friends. It will be delivered to your door so the competition is only open to people who live in Johannesburg. It will only be valid on a weekend so you will have enough time to chill with your friends without worrying about the food. The meal will comprise of starters, mains and desserts and you get to decide from an array of options. Starters could be samosas or spring rolls or whatever other yummy-ness is on offer; mains will be a choice between lamb and chicken and then you get to decide on what type of curry or breyani dish your heart desires; lastly, you get to tantalise your taste buds with their dessert options. 

And if you're like the lovely people at Jadedfairy-Events and love to cook, they are also giving away a Sunbeam Professional Convection Oven valued at around R600. 

To enter, enter through the Rafflecopter widget below, leave a comment on my blog and tell me which prize you want to win and which suburb you live in or would like the food/convection oven delivered to. Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

If you are as interested as I am in any of their services, contact tammyp@jadedfairy-events.co.za for more information. I love that they design the menu according to your tastes and budget and it’s surprisingly quite affordable whether you’re dining in with your friends or hosting a big event of up to 500 guests.  

Where to buy Indian bridal wear

In comparison to Durban’s myriad of sari shops, Joburg’s stores are few and far between. In search for my bridal outfits, I’ve put together a list of the best places I’ve been to in both Joburg and Durban. Unfortunately these stores don’t allow photos of any outfits *rolls eyes* so I can’t even show you how any of the stores look on the inside. There are a few things you need to consider before buying bridal wear but sometimes you only know what you are looking for when you’re trying outfits on at the stores.

Leelas (Joburg)

I love Leelas in Fordsburg. My boyfriend’s family knows the owners so I always get a discount whenever I buy from them. The aunty in the store is always there to drape on any sari I like so I can get a feel of how it looks on me. I love the service and all the chit chat and their range. When I heard about their bigger store in Lenasia, I had to visit them to look for a bridal sari. The range of bridal wear is extensive but not a lot of them come in red. Their prices average R10 000. I liked one in particular which was beige and maroon and had a nice price tag of R6 000.

Enens (Durban)

Enens is based in deep town. It’s a mission to get to with a car as there’s hardly any parking available on the streets and it’s filled with like a million people walking through town. Despite all of this, Enens was my favourite. I spent quite a few hours here and the guy helping me was the sweetest ever. He took out so many saris knowing full well that I wasn’t going to leave with anything. The owner is so talkative too and being in this industry, he knows a lot of other suppliers that are useful in weddings. Either way, visit Enens and you won’t be disappointed. Ask for Vinod bhai.

Memsaab (Everywhere)

Memsaab is a chain store. They have stores everywhere and they offer an exclusive range that I can only describe as Bollywood. The lighting and rooms where they store their bridal outfits are stunning and the prices match that stunning-ness. The service is bad and if the ladies feel like you can’t afford their range, they won’t even offer to drape the saris on you. I definitely don’t recommend this store because of their snobby attitude and over-priced outfits.

Saheli (Durban)

A friend recommended Saheli which also offers an upmarket range. I loved their outfits and if you’re a shorty like me, they even alter the outfits to fit you. Unfortunately, their stunning outfits come in R20 000 – way out of my price range.

Chatsworth Centre and Phoenix Plaza (Durban)

Most Indian areas have lots of sari shops – some are part of a chain store and some are private. With all of them, I’ve realised that the best priced outfits are the ones situated in the Indian areas like at Phoenix Plaza. The same outfit in an upmarket area like Umhlanga costs way more.

When I was looking on the internet on where to find outfits for my wedding, I couldn’t find any local advice so hopefully this will help you when you need to look. 

Choosing the type of wedding to have

They say that women have been planning their weddings all their lives. In my case, it wouldn’t be planning per se but every time I saw a fairy tale wedding on Top Billing or another TV programme or movie, I’d imagine how awesome it would be to have that wedding. Since actually planning my wedding, I realised just how much weddings cost and that took all my wedding dreams by their shoulders and shook reality into them. Here’s what I discovered about the different types of weddings and their associated costs.

Destination wedding

I love those destination weddings I’ve seen in movies where they take their wedding to a romantic exotic place. There cannot be anything better than having a wedding in the perfect setting, away from normal life, and surrounded by friends and family. What the movies didn’t tell me is that my friends and family can’t afford to pay for an overseas trip just to see me get married. After putting my budget together, I cannot imagine having to add in the costs of flights and accommodation for my guests too!

A formal wedding

This is essentially what all my friends are doing these days. The extensive selection of different suppliers gives this option a wide price range. So if you’re like me and are trying to spend as little as possible, you can still have a sit-down classy affair. And if you have more to spend, go right ahead and make it unforgettable for you and your guests.

Small wedding

Since planning my wedding, I’ve realised that the most expensive budget item is the venue. With a smaller venue and classroom style seating, you save a lot on the cost of the venue and table décor. So if you’re really concerned about costs or don’t want to wait too long to get married, this one is for you. My friends recently got married within a week of planning at a small temple with just immediate family. I am so jealous when I think about the amount time and money they saved by doing just that.

A civil ceremony

I’ve been threatening to do this mostly because I think it is the most practical. In an age where time is money and money is always needed for things to come, it makes sense to get down to a courthouse, say a few vows and have the marriage marked as official. The celebration really is just for immediate family anyway.

Running away and eloping

At some point, family and costs can get the better of anyone so whether you plan on eloping or decide at the last minute, this one is cost effective, a big time saver and is probably the best option keep your sanity intact. You have the rest of your lives to deal with the families’ drama. 

Learning how to swim

The honeymoon is booked! We picked up our travel documents and we’re all ready to go..if October could just come a bit faster. While we wait, I decided that it would be nice to learn how to swim. There’s no point spending all that money staying on a suite on stilts in a beautiful lagoon if we can’t jump into the ocean directly from our suites.

So I did a bunch of research on where I can learn and picked the one closest to me. I settled on Starfish Academy which offers classes for adults up to a maximum of 4 in a group at a time. Also, I figured that if I like it, it would be a great way to get a workout considering my failed attempt at running.

I really hope I survive if I'm ever just thrown into water

My fiancé and I had our first class on Tuesday. It’s quite nerve wrecking checking out these little people swimming like fish in the lesson before us. Then there’s the nervousness of putting on a skimpy swimming costume. And even when we got into the water, the nervousness didn’t go away. But after a while, I loosened up a bit and I loved it!

The instructor introduced herself and tried to ascertain just how much swimming experience we have. It was just the two of us so the lesson felt very private indeed. We started learning how to kick and swam with the flotation noodles with the instructor helped us with. We then spent some more time learning how to hold our breath. In no time, I was floating through the water without any flotation devices to help me. I left there feeling so good about that!

So if you’re thinking of learning how to swim whether it’s for a holiday, to learn a new skill or to find a new way to work out, you should definitely take the plunge.

Dining at its finest at Level Four at 54 on Bath

I still don’t know how I managed to score an invite to a Zomato event at 54 on Bath with big names in the social media and foodie scene. Either way I jumped at the opportunity to dine at one of the best fine dining establishments in Johannesburg.

It’s no secret that I love 54 on Bath. It’s my favourite hotel that I’ve never stayed in. I always seem to attend events hosted at the hotel and I am always amazed by its’ unique charm. But its charm can sum up to a blog post of its own. A story for another time…

I’ve been planning on visiting Level Four this year for a quiet romantic dinner so I was quite happy that I got to do this with my fiancé at this event. Now I've stayed and dined in a few 5 star hotels but none has ever compared to the service I received at Level Four. The waiter and manager helped us pick the right wines and assisted with my ever indecisive food choices. It's the attention to detail in the service that I really liked like never having my wine or water glass empty and coming back to my neatly folded napkin whenever I left the table. I cannot stress how much I loved the service - it was just the right amount of attention and never overbearing. All thanks to our waiter Freedom. :-)

Enough of my pompous opinion on service; it's the food that people are really interested in. The cuisine is fine dining and I'm not a huge fan of fancy food but this was just wow! All the dishes are designed by executive chefs widely respected in their field so it’s no wonder that every dish I tasted had elements that complemented each other so perfectly that one element on its own doesn’t taste right.

Beetroot tart

Tomato tart

Everything served at the restaurant has such a unique twist to it. Auction wines are on offer, the bread was baked with bits of cumin in it and throughout the meal there was something about the flavours that just blew my mind.

The menu changes regularly but if you’re planning a trip there soon, I’d definitely recommend the taste of lamb as a main meal. Its three different cuts of succulent lamb served with melt in your mouth lentils. The aroma of the dish and the taste made it a satisfying winter meal (it was cold that night). It’s a pity that I wasn’t the one eating this dish but I stole most of my fiancés food and didn’t end up eating all of mine.

Fish and chips

Taste of lamb

I had their signature fish and chips dish but it’s not what you think it is. The fish is Norwegian salmon best prepared medium rare and the chips are made of rice! The deserts were spectacular to look at – something those acclaimed chefs invited to the Masterchef shows would make. I had the dark chocolate fondant with a deliciously gooey centre served with chill chocolate jelly-like cubes and a hazelnut sorbet that I kept describing as chana magaj ice-cream.

Chocolate fondant

Pear crumble

If you visit Level 4 for a meal, then at some point in the evening, you must try to go out on to the terrace. I love that area. It reminds me so much of a little London city hotel but with a lawn on their “roof”. Chilling on the terrace during the day is one of the best city getaways because even though all the Joburg hustle and bustle of the city life is there just four floors down, sitting at that lawn makes you forget all about it. At night, it feels quite magical like being on a rooftop looking at all the city lights.

I left the restaurant with a happy tummy and dreamt of their food that night…and dreamt of waking up in their luxury suite. One day…one day….

The artwork above the beds in the rooms