Tips for pumping at work

After I revealed that my journey of expressing breastmilk at work had come to end, I received a few questions from moms about to start expressing at work. While I was on maternity leave, I remember reading articles and asking people how they did it. Even when you’re super prepared, there are some things you only figure out as you go through the process. Here are some of my tips that helped me in this year long journey.

1. Invest in a double electric breast pump 

The breast pump is probably the best invention for working mothers. Moms don’t have time to waste. While hand expressing and manually pumping works fine to prepare a bottle for that rare occasion that you’re away from your baby, it doesn’t cut it for every day pumping. A double electric pump along with a hands free pumping bra allowed me to drain both breasts while eating lunch or typing up a report. And each session only lasts 20 minutes. I used the Medela Swing Maxi. 

2. Build up a freezer stash

I hung out with the Le Leche League crew for a few months and they would never advise building up a freezer stash. They aim to help you understand how much milk your baby needs to drink while you’re away, to be consistent with pumping so that your supply doesn’t drop and to trust your body to produce what your baby needs. Perfect advice for calming down anxious moms. But, in the corporate world, work stress causes a dip in supply and department meetings that overrun mean you can’t pump at the same time you usually do. I created a freezer stash by adding a pump session every day while I was on maternity leave. I was a relief to be able to dip in to that for those days I didn’t or couldn’t pump enough. 

3. Know how much milk your baby needs

Most parents think their babies need more milk than they actually do. This is because they focus on the formula calculations on because when they leave more milk, their babies devour it all. Luckily, we have science to tell us everything we need. Little babies suck for comfort and when mom is not around, their desire for comfort increases. They can easily drink a full bottle because the need to suck is so strong. According to studies performed, babies only need to drink about 37ml of breastmilk per hour that the mom is away. They are also far more intuitive than we give them credit for. If they don’t drink enough, they’ll make up for it when mom’s back home. 

4. Schedule your pump sessions in your calendar

Ideally, you want to pump as often as your baby drinks in order to maintain your milk supply. At some point, I was pumping three times a day. I blocked out those mid-morning, lunch and mid-afternoon sessions on Outlook so that my colleagues knew I wasn’t available for meetings. It also served as a reminder for when I got busy and lost track of time. Don’t wait until you’re engorged; it sends a message to your brain to slow your milk production. This just threatens your supply in the long run. 

5. Know your rights

In most countries, the law entitles nursing mothers to take lactation breaks by law. In South Africa, you’re allowed breaks to express milk up until your baby is 6 months old. These breaks should not form part of your lunch break and its to aide exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months of your baby’s life. Even when the law no longer protects you, there is no harm in finding out if you can still take your pumping breaks. I worked while pumping so that my seniors couldn’t really complain that I was neglecting my work. 

6. Grow a thick skin (or just learn to laugh at yourself)

The number of times I’ve heard people talk about how I’m milking myself, whether I need a helping hand and the disbelief that I’m STILL breastfeeding. It comes with the territory. Learn to laugh it off.

7. Find a place to pump

An office, your car and even the sick room will do. Ask about a clean place you can use. If nothing exists, you might be helping all the mommies that come after you to create a space for them. There is also a fantastic breast pump that just sits in your bra so you can discreetly pump in the open plan. Whatever you do don’t settle for a bathroom! All those germs hanging around waiting to infect a little baby’s virgin gut. Ugh!

8. Be prepared

I carried 4 bottles and an ice-pack in a lunch cooler bag which fitted nicely inside a handbag. This way, I didn’t need to use the fridge because my milk was kept cool all day. I also kept my pump parts in a ziplock bag which kept them clean so I didn’t have to disinfect them after each use. A clean face cloth to place my pump parts on, back up batteries and a hand sanitiser. And don’t forget snacks or lunch. Pumping is tiring work.

9. Support group and online resources

Cos you’ll need a tutorial to help you to figure out how to hand express when your batteries run out of juice. It also helps to talk about your pumping blues with other mommies going through the exact same thing. Photos and videos of my baby also helped the milk flow on those tiring days. 

10. Reduce your pump sessions gradually

My plan was to reduce my pumping sessions once Squeak started eating solids. The problem was that he still preferred his booby juice. Plan B was introduce some cow’s milk after he turned one but he was allergic. I was hoping he would give up a bottle himself but I soon realised that wasn’t going to happen with my kid. I slowly got him to eat more food by gradually reducing my pump sessions. Stopping completely was hard because I felt like I needed to give him something to replace the milk. Given that cow’s milk was a problem, I needed time to play around with other drinks. Eventually I introduced watered down tea and juice. I stopped pumping at 15 months. Trust your instincts and do it in the way that works for you and your family. 

What tips do you have for moms about to venture down the seemingly daunting path of expressing milk every day at work?

Surviving your baby’s first fever

We have been lucky that Squeak is 14 months old and has never had a fever before. At this age, parents are seasoned pros at what to do when fever strikes. We weren’t prepared for what was about to come the weekend. If you’re a new parent, you probably want to read this post to learn from our journey.

It all began at the start of the long weekend. My boss left work early on Friday, so I left early too so that my baby’s nanny could leave early and we could all enjoy the long weekend a bit earlier. Squeak wasn’t his usual self that afternoon. He didn’t want to play and was a bit clingy. So, I held him while he clung to me like a little monkey. He fell asleep on my chest while I sat on the couch – no rocking, no boobing – none of the usual things he needs to be able to fall asleep. Strange. When he awoke, he felt hot to the touch.

1. Trust your instincts
You really don’t need a thermometer to know that your baby has a fever. You can gauge how bad his fever is based on how warm his head and body becomes. I consoled myself with the fact that our parents didn’t have thermometers or access to 24 hour emergency room visits and we all grew up just fine. I also realised that our parents never had to deal with swollen faces, hives and difficulty breathing from a nut allergy. The point is you know your baby best. You will know when to take him to the doctor and when cuddles is the cure. A doctor’s visit will never be a waste (apart from money). Even if there is nothing the doctor can do, it might just reassure you that everything you’re doing is right.

2. Use the cheap little underarm hospital thermometer
We invested in those expensive no touch thermometers that incorrectly sent us to the emergency room when Squeak was only 6 days old. We returned the defective unit and got another one which is really handy. You point it at a baby’s forehead and take his temperature without actually touching him. While it’s useful to not aggravate a cranky baby further, I realised those cheap underarm thermometers are what they use in the hospital and is much more accurate. When I was monitoring a 39.5 degree fever, that’s the thermometer I used.

3. Don’t fear the fever
A fever is a good thing. It means your little baby’s immune system has the ability to fight off an infection. The bad thing is that the baby has an infection that needs to be fought. I’ve read a lot about allowing the body to fight off the baddies but my itty bitty baby doesn’t deserve to be uncomfortable in the process. I found that giving him Panado really helped to bring his fever down for a while. I only medicated him as a last resort. I tried to gently bring his body temperature down by cooling him off first.

4. Skin to skin
I’ve seen the benefits of skin to skin from the time Squeak was born. He would calm down the moment I took off my shirt and held him to my chest. Now, with a raging fever, I took off our clothes, kept him in a nappy and held him against my skin gently rocking him. In no time, my body helped him regulate his body temperature and he fell asleep.

5. Agree on your cut-off point
A friend gave me this advice and it is the most important tip. My husband is more of a traditional parent and I am what he calls an organic free-range mother. He likes to consult with doctors and I prefer not to medicate my child if he doesn’t need it. We, therefore, needed to discuss at which point, we should head to the hospital and stick to it. We agreed that an uncontrollable fever of 39.5 would send us to the hospital. Luckily, we didn’t need to.

6. Stay hydrated
Squeak quickly lost his appetite but he kept sticking his arm down my shirt. I felt like I had a newborn again. I didn’t mind as I knew it was his only source of calories and it helped maintain his hydration levels. I’m sure I’m not supposed to be feeding my baby iced water but he seemed to enjoy it so I kept offering whenever I had some.

7. Maintain your sanity
I didn’t get much sleep and I also didn’t want to waste a long weekend. I decided we still needed to go out. We didn’t overdo it but we stuck to our plans so that we could maintain some sanity. It gave Squeak a difference in environment and us something to do other than care for a sick child. When Squeak needed his mommy, I popped him into my sling and wore him as I socialised with my friends.

8. Keep your routine
I’m notorious for throwing Squeak’s routine out of the window during the weekends but I maintained his evening routine. Bath, supper, bed. The poor kid has enough to keep him unhappy. I could at least let him know that there is still some normality in his life so he isn’t anxious about what comes next.

72 hours later, after Twitter consultations and constantly second-guessing ourselves, Squeak was back to his normal self. He ate a bowl of pasta, drunkenly ran around and the house was filled with his giggles again. Being responsible for a helpless child is scary and it might not seem like it at the time, but I know that all my baby really needs is me, lots of love and baby cuddles.

Do you have any tips to help with a fever? Share them in the comments below so I’m better prepared next time.

Don’t tell me I have enough time

Try complaining about not having time to do the things you want to do and you’re hit with a ton of advice. We’re told we need to prioritise, stop being a perfectionist, be more efficient, blah blah blah blah blah. Stop telling me I don’t know how to manage my time and listen to me!

I remember what it was like to have 168 hours in a week and subtract all the necessary things in life until I have “enough time” to do whatever I want. But now, I don’t have that “enough time” anymore.

Those 37 hours of magical free time available is an average of 5 hours a day. That includes childcare responsibilities and family time. I’ve even tried to squeeze minutes away from my toddler stuck to me like glue – that barely gives me time to type 140 characters before my phone is grabbed away from me or I need to be Squeak’s transportation device.

On average, I spend about 4 hours a day just being a mom. That extra hour is for me to escape for a bit in front of the TV – a bit of relaxation time. And, even then, I’m trying to juggle being immersed in a new series with catching up on social media.

I’m desperate for some me time. Time to focus my thoughts and write. Time to dance. Time to be social whether with real people or through my phone. Time to finish reading long articles. Time to do the things that make me, me.

Tell me I am not alone and that you also struggle with finding the time to be you. 

The danger toddling around you

Everyone always talks about not hurting the baby. I stopped wearing my wedding rings because I didn’t want the stones to scratch his delicate skin. I supported his neck while carrying him in positions that were far too uncomfortable for me. I made sure I kept him away from the oil splatters from cooking and tried not to use chillies for fear of burning his eyes with my fiery hands.

But no one talks about how deadly that helpless little baby is to his parents. Parents everywhere are suffering in silence. Co-workers wonder how she got that black eye or how it’s possible that he’s off work for an eye injury. They roll their eyes without understanding because we don’t talk about the abuse we get from our kids. This week has been a record of beatings from Squeak. I even reached out to parents on Twitter to check that I was not alone.

I was right! Parents and caregivers with a seemingly happy relationship with their babies came forth with stories of torture and physical abuse. Attempts at eyes being gorged out while parents innocently sleep. Skin and corneas scratched open by little hands out for blood. Walking into dad’s nethers to prevent future siblings. Bruised ribs from a 10kg wrestling contender. Head butts to the face resulting in bloody noses and black eyes from their deadliest weapon yet – their oversized heads! All this while parents were innocently going about their own business. I mean, one was even sleeping!

They blame it on their toddlers not yet mastering the art of walking (straight into male parts) or still learning their fine motor skills (waving deadly objects around) or just being curious (poking around at eyes, ears, noses and mouths) or even that parents did not cut their sharp nails (deadly talons). They may have the world fooled but not me. I know their real intent.

We need to stand up, we need to unite and we need to fight back! Lest we allow these tiny humans to rule our lives and beat us into submission. Who is with me? 

Why it’s OK to judge people

I’ve always been the type to say what’s on my mind even though the socially acceptable thing is to be kind, polite and not to judge others. I’m here to tell you that the claim to not judge others is such bullshit and why it’s totally ok to do so.

We all judge. Even the polite people think their judgements in their minds; they just don’t say it out loud. We judge people based on how they present themselves and the behaviours they display. It is a subconscious perception of people. We form impressions by deciding on whether to go on a date with someone based on how they look. We make correlations from the way your date treats the waiter or whether the person orders pineapple on their pizza.

Judging others is normal human behaviour. Every opinion we make is a judgement. If we weren’t judgemental, we’d have no opinions. You discover someone’s beliefs. You decide you like them, that’s being judgemental. You decide you do not like them, that’s also being judgemental. Our belief systems stem from our opinions and we decide to do certain things because we believe it is right. We don’t do the opposite because we believe it is wrong. Based on that we already judged people who don’t share the same opinions as us.

In the parenting world, mom-shaming is rife. Everyone tries to make conscious decisions to not judge because you never know the background and context that resulted in people making the decisions they make. Try as you may, you see the judgemental attitudes everywhere like the debates on breastmilk vs formula and anti-vax vs science.  It is not surprising that people have strong views because when you choose to vaccinate, you obviously did enough research to think that anyone on the other side of the fence is completely wrong, and vice versa.

And, even when you’re well meaning, people will still take it the wrong way. A mom shared a pic of her dirty car rationalising that it’s ok because it’s evidence that she spends time with her kids instead of cleaning. I didn’t expect the huge backlash of parents who keep a clean car and house that felt mom-shamed. They said that cleaning up didn’t mean that they are detracting from quality time with their kids.

Point is. It’s ok to judge. It’s normal. You don’t need to keep your thoughts to yourself. In fact, I’d rather surround myself with people who are judgemental because at least I know that they are real.

Reclaiming my lunch breaks

I’ve been a bit emotional this week. Since going back to work after maternity leave, I spent almost a year expressing breast milk for Squeak. I recently decided it was time. He’s over a year old, he’s eating pretty well and I’ve just introduced some Rooibos tea and watered down juice during the day to replace his boob juice.

It just feels so weird to not be running on adrenaline all day long. Over the past year, I’ve had to squeeze in a huge workload and as much as three pump sessions a day. In the same breath, I’m so excited to have my lunch breaks back so I can do things like run an errand and well, have lunch with a friend.

I think back to all that I went through during a year of pumping. I mastered pumping – doing it while driving, in my parked car, in rooms with glass doors or unlocked doors and even during syndicate group meetings. I had to learn how to hand express milk when my batteries gave up, found out why lithium batteries are so expensive and figured out the minor differences in flange vs nipple size with my nipples splashed across Facebook. I went through the disappointment of producing insufficient milk and the relief of producing more milk than I needed. I missed all the tasty tea time snacks and lunch during training sessions. I dealt with judgement from my colleagues and resultant discrimination.

I don’t think I’m going to miss hooking myself up to a breast pump and milking myself dry. Here’s to feeling like a normal 9 - 5 employee again!