Conception was supposed to be difficult
We try to force nature to work with civilisation. So instead
of popping babies from 12 years old, as if the human race is becoming extinct,
we force our bodies to wait. To wait until we find Mr Right – the modern way.
None of that pairing up with the boy from your village nonsense. Oh no. It has
to be a perchance meeting in a coffee shop. Sparks must fly. Your heart has to
race as your eyes meet and fall in love at first sight. This happens 10 times
over in different romantic locations until the most recent Him ticks your long
list of requirements. After a few years of on-off relationship-ing, you realise
he’s The One.
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| Not quite my experience |
If you were lucky enough to have found Baby Daddy while
you’re at your most fertile, you probably realised that you hadn’t reached your
peak in your career yet. You think, “that ladder is slippery, I’m underpaid,
now is not the time.”
Whatever your reason is, we defy nature with contraceptives
until the day you decide to conceive. It’s supposed to be difficult. For years,
you forced your body into not doing one of our most primitive functions for
years – having babies. You’re older now and not as fertile anymore. You need to
track your ovulation and be prepared for those two blue lines to not appear
when you want them to.
It was time. I was supposed to try to conceive before it
became too late. But I hadn’t lived life yet. I hadn’t travelled the world. I
didn’t have enough sex. I didn’t have the money to swop out the carpets for
laminate flooring. I hadn’t made a big salary jump. I didn’t restart
after-works drinks with old colleagues. I’m not done sleeping in on weekends. All
these things I won’t be able to do with kids. No one else is having kids. It
was time. But I wasn’t ready.
And then the phone call that ended my life: “We have the
results of your blood tests. Congratulations! You’re 3 weeks pregnant.” No!
Conception was supposed to be difficult. I’m supposed to want it so badly so
that I could be grateful when I fell pregnant. Instead, I had the odds of a
teenager having sex for the first time in the back of a car. Pregnant…without
even trying.
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We learned about 3 months ago that the chance of getting pregnant, when all the stars were alined, is only 20%. My first reaction was "how the hell do so many people get pregnant by accident?!" Sadly, we have to get pregnant via IUI, even though we are both "the most fertile people", because of the husband's meds. We have already had 1 failed IUI, hoping the next one is successful. I know it could be worse but I still feel the need to be ungrateful and kinda feel like you do
ReplyDeleteWe learned about 3 months ago that the chance of getting pregnant, when all the stars were alined, is only 20%. My first reaction was "how the hell do so many people get pregnant by accident?!" Sadly, we have to get pregnant via IUI, even though we are both "the most fertile people", because of the husband's meds. We have already had 1 failed IUI, hoping the next one is successful. I know it could be worse but I still feel the need to be ungrateful and kinda feel like you do
ReplyDeleteAh that sucks! Hopefully the "ungrateful" feelings will pass; I'm holding thumbs for the next IUI. Then you can complain about any bad pregnancy symptoms instead. :-)
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