SandiSplash

Yes I'm thinking about how St Peter, consulting his iPad, might ask about this title whilst hoards of other souls (who have never publicly stated the obvious) walk through the pearly gates; no questions asked.

I'm jumping ahead of myself. Here's why I was so angry with God last night.

Despite my atheist ways, I actually do believe in the existence of God or that God existed at some point. The science even backs it up. The chances that the perfect collection of atoms came together to form earth and life as we know it with perfect precision is slim. Take breastfeeding, for example. It's the perfect food to sustain a baby and so complex that no laboratory has successfully artificially imitated it as yet.

Which brings me to the offspring who was gnawing at my nipples for half an hour straight. Not to feed, no. It was too help with the gas troubles he had. All while The Husband dozed off peacefully unaware.

Unaware that The Big Guy created women to bear the brunt of parenting. We carry the foetus until it's born because we were gifted with a uterus, a vagina that was meant to have life torn through it and breasts from which our lives are sucked out of. And then just for fun, the bastard (oh sorry, Bastard - let's maintain a little respect here, shall we) gave men nipples.

This epiphany came in just before the start of Shravan where I am paying obeisance to the following Gods:

• There's Shiva who was actually the world's saviour. He drank a poison that was going to end the world. I figure he could have let the world end. Maybe another God could take another go at it and not decree that women be stoned to death every time one of them breathes the way some of our major religions like it. Also, we pray to guy's penis as a symbol of him. How much more patriarchal can you get?
• The Parvati kinda of patriarchal. This Goddess was created for Shiva. But because she was dark in complexion, Shiva didn't want her. Instead of showing my dark skinned sisters a role model of self respect, she persevered in lusting after him.
• Krishna is my favorite God because he is oh so playful. But he married eight queens  and my people were up in arms when a playful Bollywood song about his main wife being sexy was released. Yes, the God can be a playboy and the Goddess can be nothing but subservient to him.