SandiSplash

Dear Mom,

I don't think I ever knew how much you loved me. Not until now when I have my own child.

A mother's love is described as unconditional and I never quite understood that. To the young and carefree me without children, a mother's love was about taking care of your offspring, nurturing them and loving them even when they behave like little monsters.

To the me who's now  been a mother for 8 weeks, I realise how overwhelming a mother's love is.  For me, it's an unconventional love that's been growing exponentially since he was born.

I thought love would be my heart swelling at the first glimpse of him. Instead, it's wanting to take away all his pain when he looks at me. It's being territorial towards anyone that might do him the tiniest bit of harm. It's being steadfast in my decisions to do what's best for him despite what the people closest to me think. It's enduring physical pain to set him up for the best I can develop him into. It's losing my independence to make sure he's safe and secure. It's knowing that I'm all he needs and I'm willing to be enough for him.

Now with a love that's how been growing exponentially for 8 weeks, how do I even begin to understand the intensity of my mother's love for me, 31 years later.

All I can say is thank you. Thank you for holding a needy me in your arms all day long in a time when gender roles meant you also had to maintain a pristine house and place supper on the table all by yourself. Thank you for your milk that not only sustained me but is probably the reason for my strong immune system. Thank you for your sleepless nights at a time when every diaper change meant more to hand-wash the next day. Thank you for giving me the best you could afford at a time when maternity leave came with no pay and no job security.

Above all, thank you for loving with such passion that your children would never understand.

From,
Your daughter with a newfound appreciation for you.