How am I supposed to raise a child when this is how I behave

By 18:41

I remember when I first started working in a corporate environment. I went to a meeting with a client, at the client’s premises, and proceeded to impress them on the work that I was going to deliver. At the end of the meeting, I stood up in my little suit, shook everyone’s hands and left with a smug feeling of how professional I had come across. As I walked to my car, I realised I didn’t have my car keys because something was missing – my handbag – that I left in the client’s boardroom. That was in 2006. Looking back, I think it was understandable. Fresh into adulthood, who carried a handbag at that age anyway?

Bonding would probably be more fun over a drink...just saying :-)

Fast forward to 2015 when I went out with my friends for a fancy dinner. As my husband and I pulled into our driveway after supper, he asked, “Where’s your handbag?” At that moment, I realised it was in the restaurant. What excuse did I have now? Who carries handbags? 30 year old women – that’s who! 30 year old women who are supposed to be responsible enough to take care of a child, let alone remember to take her handbag when leaving a place.

So what do I do when little Pepperoni one day forgets his toy box – or whatever it is that little kids carry around. Do I say, “Dude – it’s ok. Do you even wanna know how many times I’ve left my handbag behind?”

And then there was my epic European trip where I was waiting to go down the Alps in a ski lift. I looked in the empty lift and said out loud, “oh look. A pole!” I proceeded to grab onto the pole fully clothed with just my face being the only naked part of my body. I hoisted myself upside down with my arm muscles proudly holding up my body weight as my gloved up hands continued to slide at great speed until I fell…hard…at 5 months pregnant. The first thing I did was turn over on my back, like I belonged in that position on the floor. The next thing was to look around at who saw me. No one! Perfect. Now where’s The Husband to hoist me up and pretend like nothing happened? He was looking away pretending like he didn’t know me.

When Pepperoni has a stupid idea, thinks it through and still decides to act on it, what do I do? Do I sing, “You got it from ya mamma”? Does The Husband pretend like it’s not his kid? How am I supposed to raise a kid when I do such stupid things?

Oh and you know how fussy kids are when it comes to food. I was that fussy kid. It all started when I was a baby and wouldn’t eat the first solids all Indian kids started on – buttered bread and tea. I spat it out, vomited it up and would rather stay hungry. I became a fussy adult eater – to the point that I unintentionally insult my in-laws every time I’m around them. I don’t like certain foods and as much as I try to eat them, there are just certain things I cannot stomach – think every yogurt type dish that is pinnacle of Gujarati cuisine. Now what happens when Pepperoni does the exact same thing? I so desperately want to say, “I understand, Kid”. 

It seems like all mothers I know are responsible people. So I can't be the only one like this right? Tell me there’s more like me out there – the happy-go-lucky ones that do silly things all the time and laugh it off. They also raise kids despite how they behave...right? 

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